It’s mid-August, camp is over, and preschool will start again in a few weeks. It would be easy to get wrapped up in keeping the kids busy for all this time, packing in all the summer fun that I can – and I will. However, I also need to keep in mind that there is much more looming on the horizon. The school forms are a constant reminder of this, atop my to-do pile of all the things I already haven’t found time to complete. Of course, I’ll get to everything eventually but if we can take some time to consider all the longer-term decisions, we can knock them out more efficiently and without anything missing my attention due in haste.
It might make me more anxious at first, realizing that it’s not just a matter of getting immunization records updated or submitting school forms. It’s not just a series of tasks – it’s change management. Over the coming weeks, I don’t just want to get things done, I want to prepare my family for the new normal – new schedules, new teachers, new activities, new friends, new parents, new responsibilities, ad infinitum. Well, at least those forms feel relatively less daunting now.
Whether I want to face it or not, change will happen, so it’s best that I consider any potential pitfalls to better cope with any eventualities. Knowing myself (as my wife certainly seems to), I always need to keep in mind that we are partners in this, never adversaries. It’s always those times when I’m most stressed that I feel like I am doing all the work, making all the sacrifices, and constantly putting my kids first. That’s when I have to remember that she can always make the same claim. And the fact is, we’d both be right. Whatever hypothetical tally of chores and sacrifices we might have worked up in our heads, the score is always tied. When I finally recognize that, it’s no longer even an apt metaphor – we’re on the same team.
This year we’ll take a deliberate approach. Instead of just stacking up and checking off the to-do list, we’ll have a strategy session. We’ll pick a night next week, put the kids to bed, leave the television off, and open a bottle of wine. My wife will undoubtedly and nerd-ily want to take notes and create some kind of chart/project timeline, and I’ll try unsuccessfully to keep my sarcastic comments to a minimum. We’ll figure out all of the various tasks that need to be done and responsibilities to be delegated, voicing our concerns about our workloads and limitations so that we can appreciate the other’s perspective. We’ll discuss how to prepare the kids for the various changes, sharing any apprehensions, so that we can both help them get excited about what is coming. All the tasks will get done – they always do – so this time I’ll try to embrace change. I’ll go against all my usual inclinations as this is what parenting requires, whether I like it or not.
I guess we’ll see if the plan works.
Stuck with Dad 