Like most other parents, I try to fill my kids’ time with fun, engaging, and wherever possible, educational activities. We all know this is no easy task as there are just too many hours in some days. Kids can get bored too easily and there are only so many times you can hit those same favorite hot spots before someone has had all they can take. Quite often, I cross that threshold long before my kids do. So what can we do?
While the answer to that question can be elusive, too often I make the tragic mistake of attempting to do nothing. The deluge of bad weather systems lately and the seeming acceleration toward winter has been forcing us to stay home and get cozy. While these factors may have once yielded a pleasant, restful afternoon, now the prospect of keeping four year-old kids from boredom induced chaos makes such relaxation nearly impossible. Yet, I still try to pull it off sometimes.
It’s not that my kids require constant attention and engagement. It’s not that they are spoiled and always have something fun to do. We do our share of chores and tedious errands but these are at least actions that can forestall restlessness. If anything, I’m lucky that in many of these down-times, my twins have each other to play with. This tends to last for a short time, generally until they find something over which to compete. This can be absolutely anything, whether a coveted toy or something as seemingly competition-free as who gets to brush their teeth or get in the car first. In any case, when they aren’t engaged, the peace can be frustratingly short-lived.
I always know it’s going to happen. I see the tell-tale signs of trouble and get preemptively defensive. They start getting restless and chasing each other around at top speed, and we’re likely only moments away from some trivial offense changing one of those delightfully giddy laughs to a whiny complaint for which they’ll seek my intervention. Like every parent, we know our kids well and at times, can pessimistically predict this annoying future all-too-easily.
While I know all these things and have this (hardly) uncanny ability to predict the future, it never seems to stop me from attempting the lazy route yet again. I try to get away with doing nothing, hoping that this time, my kids will finally be good with it. And yet, unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work – again. They get bored and annoyed, so predictably I start grumbling to myself and question why they can’t just be content. Of course, I know why – it’s because they are four year-olds. When engaged in an activity, they are content. When I’m being lazy in my parenting however, their energy is bound to boil over into chaos.
So when it comes time to plan the next activity, whether stuck in the house on a nasty day or not, I need to remember this inevitability. I need to do this for their sake as well as my own. I may not always want to be that entertainer, reader, game host, teacher, fort builder, puppeteer, etc., but if I take a moment to recognize the inevitable alternative, maybe next time I won’t repeat this all-too-frequent mistake. I need to remember that when I get lazy as a parent, through no fault of my kids, that eventually I’m going to get frustrated. It doesn’t take a constant, unsustainable, fun-filled agenda to avoid such a pitfall. Instead of thinking I can regress into pre-kid lazy mode where I could completely shut down, I need to recognize a new base level of activity that keeps my kids from driving each other, and me, crazy, for those moments of down time between more engaging activities. Ironically, I just have to stop trying so hard to be lazy.
Stuck with Dad 