Author Archives: Paul Katz

Reducing Waste and Saving Money

Though I’m by no means an economist, as a stay-at-home dad, I am often reminded of the term “opportunity cost.” This can be loosely defined as the cost/value of anything versus what might have been bought otherwise. For example, in the obsessively cheap mind of this stay-at-home dad, the opportunity cost of getting a babysitter and going out to dinner might be the cost of putting my kid in a summer soccer league. As you might assume, when such calculations go through my head, our total number of nights out have tended toward zero.

While it’s perhaps just a rationalization, I find that considering such trade-offs can be very useful to rein in excessive spending and keep us within a manageable budget. This, as I see it, is part of my job.  There was a time not so long ago that I’d pay for something without even thinking about it. We were a two-income family and before the kids came along, money wasn’t really a concern. Fast forward a few years and now I’m home with the kids, incurring much higher expenses with only my wife’s income. Therefore, if my job doesn’t bring in money, then my job becomes saving it wherever I can. Call me cheap or call me frugal, but a healthy money-saving obsession can add up to real savings quickly.

A recent article has reminded me of our need to assess day-to-day operations. While it’s not necessarily surprising that Americans waste a lot of food, a recent report by the National Resource Defense Council (and reported by the LA Times here) puts this into frightening perspective. It calculates that we are “wasting up to 40% of the country’s supply each year – a mass of uneaten provisions worth $165 billion” and that “An average family of four squanders $2,275 in food each year, or 20 pounds per person per month.”

What is the opportunity cost of $2,275 of wasted food for your family? I could think of a lot of ways that money could be better spent, without even considering additional environmental benefits. I tend to think (as many of us probably do) that my family can’t possibly waste that much food, but even if it’s only a fraction of that average, there is more work to be done and money to be saved.

I’ll start by assessing my overall grocery strategy. Stay tuned.

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Local Post on Patch.com

Here is the third of three local posts to be written for the Owings Mills-Reisterstown Patch about educational, inexpensive summer activities for families.

Giving Our Kids a Summer to Remember – Part III

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Quick Tip

These days, most of us have a camera on our cell phone, often used to snap a quick shot of how cute our kids look at any given moment. With this in mind, here’s a quick tip on how else we can use this technology to help ensure our kids’ safety and give ourselves some peace of mind.

Next time you take your kids on an outing, whether to a zoo, park, or any other fun destination where they might roam around, take a quick picture of each of them before you go or when you are waiting in line to get in. As parents, we all have fears about our kids running off or worse, being taken, but having a picture of them handy could ultimately be quite helpful. Amidst your potential panic, you’ll have a current picture, showing exactly how they look and what they are wearing on that particular day – the details of which might otherwise be difficult to recall in such a stressful moment.

Whether you are paranoid about “stranger danger” or simply have multiple, active kids that may tend to go off in different directions, such a practice can help (perhaps only minimally) to allay your fears while being a practical use of the technology that resides in your pocket regardless of whether it is ever used.

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Pivotal Time of Year

It’s mid-August, camp is over, and preschool will start again in a few weeks. It would be easy to get wrapped up in keeping the kids busy for all this time, packing in all the summer fun that I can – and I will. However, I also need to keep in mind that there is much more looming on the horizon. The school forms are a constant reminder of this, atop my to-do pile of all the things I already haven’t found time to complete. Of course, I’ll get to everything eventually but if we can take some time to consider all the longer-term decisions, we can knock them out more efficiently and without anything missing my attention due in haste.

It might make me more anxious at first, realizing that it’s not just a matter of getting immunization records updated or submitting school forms. It’s not just a series of tasks – it’s change management. Over the coming weeks, I don’t just want to get things done, I want to prepare my family for the new normal – new schedules, new teachers, new activities, new friends, new parents, new responsibilities, ad infinitum. Well, at least those forms feel relatively less daunting now.

Whether I want to face it or not, change will happen, so it’s best that I consider any potential pitfalls to better cope with any eventualities. Knowing myself (as my wife certainly seems to), I always need to keep in mind that we are partners in this, never adversaries. It’s always those times when I’m most stressed that I feel like I am doing all the work, making all the sacrifices, and constantly putting my kids first. That’s when I have to remember that she can always make the same claim. And the fact is, we’d both be right. Whatever hypothetical tally of chores and sacrifices we might have worked up in our heads, the score is always tied. When I finally recognize that, it’s no longer even an apt metaphor – we’re on the same team.

This year we’ll take a deliberate approach. Instead of just stacking up and checking off the to-do list, we’ll have a strategy session. We’ll pick a night next week, put the kids to bed, leave the television off, and open a bottle of wine. My wife will undoubtedly and nerd-ily want to take notes and create some kind of chart/project timeline, and I’ll try unsuccessfully to keep my sarcastic comments to a minimum. We’ll figure out all of the various tasks that need to be done and responsibilities to be delegated, voicing our concerns about our workloads and limitations so that we can appreciate the other’s perspective. We’ll discuss how to prepare the kids for the various changes, sharing any apprehensions, so that we can both help them get excited about what is coming. All the tasks will get done – they always do – so this time I’ll try to embrace change. I’ll go against all my usual inclinations as this is what parenting requires, whether I like it or not.

I guess we’ll see if the plan works.

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Local post on Patch.com

Here is the second of three local posts to be written for the Owings Mills-Reisterstown Patch about educational, inexpensive summer activities for families.

Giving Our Kids a Summer to Remember – Part II

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Part II – The Intangible Value of Libraries

In Part I, we discussed the tangible value of libraries such as the free stream of books, activities, and reading programs. Now that we have covered the more obvious benefits, let’s dig a little deeper and consider the implications of the intangible value of libraries:

1. Lifetime educational benefits – In our current era of economic malaise, there is increasing attention placed on social mobility and the impact of economic factors on child development. For many of us without significant wealth, we cringe at the idea that our children might not have the same advantages as others. With this in mind, we can consider how an abundance of books can help to level the playing field and provide a foundation for greater learning, even if we are cynical about the future of our school systems.

In a very interesting and comprehensive multi-national study, Family scholarly culture and educational success: Books and schooling in 27 nations (copy of full report here), the study’s results conclude:

“Children growing up in homes with many books get 3 years more schooling than children from bookless homes, independent of their parents’ education, occupation, and class. This is as great an advantage as having university educated rather than unschooled parents, and twice the advantage of having a professional rather than an unskilled father.”

Thus, no matter what we have achieved as parents, either in terms of wealth or education (or lack thereof), an abundance of books in the home can have a profound impact on our children’s long-term prospects. We all strive to provide a better life for our kids than we have had, and it’s reassuring to know that giving our kids unfettered access to books is a step in that direction, no matter our own levels of education or wealth.

2. Guarding against technology overload – Everywhere we go these days, digital media is pervasive. Beyond our televisions, computers, iPads/iPhones, our kids are bombarded by screens with information (more specifically, advertisements). While the debate will inevitably continue as to the long-term impacts of such constant sensory stimulus, the distractions and short attention spans of kids (as well as adults) are palpable. An easy way to rationalize the use of such devices by our kids is to use them for educational content. For example, we may not want our kids playing Angry Birds all day, but if they are reading an enhanced e-book, our guilt can be significantly diminished.

Given all the new technology, studies will inevitably be done to test their effects and, in many cases, may come up with different conclusions.  One such study by the Joan Ganz Cooney Center, while limited in scope, drew some interesting conclusions about enhanced e-books versus print books. (click here for the report)

The study indicates that enhanced e-books, while useful to initially motivate kids to read, have lesser outcomes for literacy and reading comprehension. Given the added features of such e-books, researchers believe that they often distract children, diminishing their recall of details and moving their attention away from the words.

It is equally important to note however, that there are indeed still benefits to enhanced e-books, though from a literacy standpoint, a print book may have greater value. If nothing else, this suggests that mixing in print books may be a better holistic approach. And, as we have discussed, your library can provide these at no cost.

6. Preparing for change – While the previous examples are more academic in nature, I have personally found the library essential in preparing my kids for upcoming changes and eliminating surprises that might otherwise cause them stress (and by extension our own stress). If you are concerned about how your child might react to a new situation, you can almost certainly find books at your library to help them understand it ahead of time. By eliminating shocks or surprises, your child will be less likely to fear a new experience or have a bad reaction.

For example, the dentist isn’t a place where many of us look forward to going. For a child, it can be quite intimidating if they don’t know what to expect. Before taking my kids, we went to the library and checked out a few books about dentists. We talked about the various tools that would be used and how the dentist/hygenist would be checking out their teeth. Ultimately, they were excited to be there, seeing all the instruments that were in the books and how they were used. The whole experience was surprisingly fun and positive – more of a new adventure than a trip to the dentist. The same process can be replicated for virtually any new (and potentially scary) experience – going to the doctor, flying on planes, going to school/camp, etc.

7. Setting an example – Kids want to be like their parents (at least until they become teenagers). Be sure to get yourself some books too, so your kids will see that you value a lifetime of reading. Get some fiction or non-fiction, on any topic that gets your interest. Give yourself a chance to let your mind wander to other topics or get a parenting book to gain some additional perspective/tips. Incorporate a family reading time as part of your schedule and talk to your kids about your books while encouraging them to do the same. Consider what your kids like and pick up a nature field guide (birds, butterflies, flowers, astronomy, etc.) to reinforce new topics from school or to share your child’s latest interests.

From the conclusion (p.19) of the study cited in section 1 (click here for full text), “A book-oriented home environment, we argue, endows children with tools that are directly useful in learning at school: vocabulary, information, comprehension skills, imagination, broad horizons of history and geography, familiarity with good writing, understanding of the importance of evidence in argument, and many others.”

Collectively, these points comprise just some of the intangible benefits of libraries. Practically applying even a few of these can make regular trips to the library an invaluable addition to your schedule, all for the low-price of $0.

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Part I – The Tangible Value of Libraries

(Coming soon…Part II – The Intangible Value of Libraries)

The library may be one of the most underrated resource for the stay-at-home parent. We’d all likely agree that books are good and that we want our kids to read, but this only scratches the surface of a library’s potential benefits. Here are some obvious advantages to utilizing the local library:

1. Cost – For the frugal family on a budget, the price can’t be beat – free (as long as the books aren’t overdue). Even if you’re about to miss a return date, many libraries even allow you to renew online. Make the library an extension of your home’s bookshelf. Each time you return books, leave with as many or more new ones.

2. Story times/Activities – If you check your local library’s website, chances are that you’ll find activities to suit kids from toddler to school-aged. For example, when they were infants, I took my kids to free Mommy & Me-type classes (while giving instructions, the teachers would always politely correct themselves to include “Daddies too,” for my sake), and later, countless story times and sing-alongs . More recently, we took part in a hands-on reptile program, where we got to learn about, see, and touch at least a half dozen snakes, lizards and turtles. These were free events and it was simply a matter of checking the library website for dates/times.

3. Summer reading programs – To keep kids reading over the summer and to get new/future readers excited about books, libraries offer a simple incentive program. In our case this summer at our local library, my kids were encouraged to complete four reading-related tasks to get a sticker. After gaining four stickers, they would complete the program and get a prize. It gave them an opportunity to set goals and a sense of accomplishment when they finished. Some might argue that providing such incentives for reading could corrupt a child’s motivations but to me, the activities which surrounded the program were just a bonus as we continued the same frequency of reading after the program ended.

4. Constant source of new/free/age-appropriate materials – Rather than just buying more and more books as your kids get older and outgrow the earlier ones, you can always have new books on hand to pique their current interests.  Naturally, there’s nothing inherently wrong with amassing your own library at home but frequent use of the library allows for fresh material at any time.  If they don’t take to a particular book that might otherwise sit untouched on their bookshelf, you can simply keep trying until you’ve found a story or series that they’ll truly enjoy. And again, unless the books are overdue, it won’t cost you anything.

As I have suggested, these are some rather obvious benefits to utilizing your local library. The follow-up will delve deeper into these and others in Part II – The Intangible Value of Libraries, which will be posted within the next day or two, so stay tuned.

Categories: Reading | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Local Post on Patch.com

Here is the first of three local posts to be written for the Owings Mills-Reisterstown Patch about educational, inexpensive summer activities for families.

Giving Our Kids a Summer to Remember

Categories: Off-Blog Posts | Leave a comment

Welcome to Stuck with Dad

Welcome to the newest (and hopefully the best) blog about the parenting experience. My self-proclaimed expertise comes from three years of being a stay-at-home dad for my 4-year-old twins (girl and boy). Within this time, I have made more than my fair share of mistakes, but each instance has provided an opportunity to learn and grow as a parent.

By sharing insights and tips here, I hope to provide a forum for discussion that will ideally reinforce what I’m doing right and rectify what I’m doing wrong.  With your help and feedback, we can all continue our quest to be exceptional parents. I’ll encourage your suggestions and constructive criticisms at every opportunity as our children can benefit greatly from the wisdom of others that have similar experiences.

My daughter often says, much to my delight, that I am “the best dad ever.” I continually respond that I’m trying to be. While I acknowledge her bias, my son has never said it, so there’s obviously a lot of room for improvement. Fortunately, I can always depend on at least one of my kids to keep me humble, and I choose to use these examples only as further motivation to do better.

Aside from your comments within the blog, feel free to contact me at stuckwithdad@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @stuckwithdad.

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