It’s Doable

I had a moment on Sunday. Rather, a seemingly trivial moment came and went but it has me thinking more and more ever since. All it took was a simple phrase that keeps resounding in my mind – “it’s doable.”

It was a moment not unlike so many others – just two proud fathers watching their sons playing soccer (or as close as 4 year-old kids get to it) on a sunny fall day. Among other things, we discussed a recent outing he had taken with his family. By going, they had deviated from their typical sleep schedule to let the kids experience an astronomy lesson and use a telescope on the observation deck of a science center. The overly-structured (read: controlling) dad in me instantly leaped out, almost defensively saying that we always try to keep our kids on their sleep schedule so I’d likely never take my kids there. He shrugged it off with a smirk, pointing out that they had a great time and slept just fine. Then he said those words…”it’s doable.”

Ever since then, I just keep thinking – yes, it IS doable. Of course it is. My kids aren’t those little babies who needed 14 hours of sleep anymore and I’m not the parent that is desperate for them to be asleep so I can finally rest. My little, fragile, utterly-dependent babies are now full-fledged kids.

I don’t change diapers anymore. I don’t go everywhere laden with various ointments, pacifiers, extra clothes, and strollers. I don’t cringe at the thought of forgetting something at the store, seething with frustration at the thought of spending a half hour to do something that should take five minutes. There are no cribs, no bouncy seats, no high chairs. All gone. Yet while I have shed all this excess baggage in a literal sense, it took just two simple words – “it’s doable” – to make me realize there’s still a little baggage – just figuratively.

I’m not suggesting that I just realized my kids aren’t babies. Believe me, each bit of baby infrastructure that I have cast off has been truly momentous. However, that apparently doesn’t stop me from hanging on to certain old habits – like my sleep fixation. Having weathered those early infant days as a parent of twins, perhaps this is some kind of mental defense mechanism – an automatic response to anything that encroaches upon that precious sleep. We’re fortunately a few years removed from the depressing blur of sleep-deprivation now. Yet as I demonstrated in my conversation that day on the soccer field, I still reflexively cling to the seemingly paramount, albeit outdated importance of a good night sleep.

How many other things am I doing that are just antiquated throw-backs to the bygone era of labor-intensive baby parenting? Or conversely, which have been those persistent strategies that contribute to our successes? Ideally, I’ll find a mix of each but by simply being conscious of these things going forward, I should be able to shed a bit more of that baggage yet. It’s doable.